Tuesday, March 21, 2006

G is for Garden State

We just watched Garden State again (with my homegirl Natalie Portman*) and this time, it made me focus on two things:

1. what jerks people can be when you work in retail (the scene at the beginning with Zack Braff working in the Vietnamese restaurant and the chick bitches him out because they don't offer bread with the meal got me fired up)

2. whether that weird bottomless pit really exists in Newark ( i might write to the guys at Weird NJ to find out)

For those of you who have worked in retail, what customer was the most memorable in completely making you lose faith in humanity due to their rudeness/ callousness/ crudeness?

Here's mine- I was working as a manager at the Body Shop and it was my first day opening the store by myself. As an opening manager, you are the only employee in the store for the first 3 or 4 hours on weekdays. Anyway, I arrive at work, only to discover that there is NO POWER. No lights, no computer, no way to make a transaction, no security. Nothing. I'm frantically calling the other managers to find out what the hell to do in this situation. Because we have no power, I can't open the store (for obvious reasons, plus it was company policy because of security), which meant that the store was going to get a big fine from the mall for not raising the gates on time. Great way to start your first day, right? It gets worse- at exactly 9:30 am, this lady starts yelling at me through the gates to open the door. I calmly explain to her that we do not have power, and company policy does not allow me to open the gates, but I'm doing everything I can to get the store open. She proceeds to bitch me out because she has to return her stupid shower gel, and how she drove half an hour to do so, etc, and she started to get loud and nasty. Finally, power was restored and I opened the store around 10:15- this lady comes in to return her stuff and then starts demanding that because i inconvenienced her, i have to give her whatever she wants for free. when i tell her that i could give her a discount, but wasn't authorized to give away merchandise, she gave me the whole "customer is always right" rap and then wanted the district manager's phone number so she could get me fired. That was about 6 or 7 years ago, and I would still love to kick her ass.

I've almost finished the first half of the vintage shrug and a teeny baby blanket for the greeting cards.

* Natalie Portman's new haircut (apres the shaved head) is so freakin' CUTE. I can't wait until I can chop my hair off again after the wedding.


  1. Wow, talk about a customer from hell. I'm so sure you caused the power outage just to inconvenience her, right?

  2. that's terrible!

    gosh, i had so many in my past life in retail. while i was working at joann fabrics in grad school, i had a guy ask me why i didn't become "a nurse or a secretary" or something. so insulting. and i once had a woman try to return an entirely knit sweater, saying the dye lots were different even though the ball bands said they were the same. but she had no receipt or the ball bands. glad i don't work there anymore ...

  3. wow! what bug crawled up her pie hole!?
    you should've just denied her return, citing it as damaged goods or something and called security for claims of harassment and terroristic threatening. hah!
    people are so inconsiderate, but they don't take the time to think that maybe the other person is just doing the best they can in any given situation and slip-ups are not done to be intentionally offensive.
    just yesterday, i was left a note on my car saying i was rude and inconsiderate because of the way i parked. apparently, the woman owning the SUV next to me felt i was stupid because i parked between two SUV's. she failed to notice that the SUV on the other side of me was parked crooked, and i parked exactly in the middle of the two cars. i gave them equal space to maneuver, which was the best i could do. i drove the entire parking structure before i could find that ONLY AVAILABLE stall, and i was late. it could not be helped.
    one day, i'm going to leave a note on her car saying "get a smaller car." i would say "get a smaller ass," but that wouldn't have anything to do with the parking situation, would it?

  4. who the hell leaves notes on cars telling people that they are rude parkers? that's so weird- way more effort than dirty looks!

  5. Goodness, what a bitch that customer was! She deserves a good smackdown.

    I agree on the Natalie Portman hair thing, btw. Unfortunately, I tried it once and I just wasn't comfortable enough with my girlyness to not feel like a pre-pubescent boy.

  6. McSpazz, you probably looked so cute with short hair- and that's when you can wear super girlie stuff like the audrey gloves you made!